Sunday, October 12, 2008

The week's news round-up

By Johnny Taronja

Spot-on Brian Reade in the Mirror . As the government have announced measures to right the wrongs of the economic crisis, here's what he suggests: "Devise a new TV reality show I'm A Greedy B*****d, Get Me Out Of Here where tasks include being placed in a glass coffin containing hundreds of real-life gekkos, and having to survive on just Bonus dog biscuits."

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In the meantime, Ken Livingstone in The Guardian explains exactly why pouring taxpayers' money into the banking system is just going to be a hideous, useless, loss.

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Fair play to the Daily Mail for allowing a sound Amanda Platell to write about about the Royals' "display of contempt for the hardships the rest of us are facing". She adds: "While ordinary people are terrified of losing their homes, their pensions and savings, Charles and Camilla are in danger of behaving like pre-revolutionary French aristocrats, blind to the offence most Britons take at their self-indulgent, plutocratic lifestyle".

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Though for once it's fantastic to see a Government telling those greedy dickheads that, if they want the state to chip in, they have to sign up to a code of conduct about inflated dividends and bonuses.

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Alas, the Mirror is also home to chief jackass Tony Parsons. "Let Cheryl have a cry", he spurted on his page last week. "Beyond the glamour and the glitz, Cheryl’s brought some honesty and unashamed emotion to Saturday night TV. That is why she is suddenly the nation’s sweetheart, and worth every million that Simon pays to keep her". Good gracious. So what's the going rate for a smile and how much if you let rip live on telly?
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It really seems we're in for something serious. Super mega names from the world of finance and business are at risk of going bust and closing down. The Royal Bank of Scotland is one, while in the US household names General Motors (whose empire includes Cadillac, Chevrolet, Saab and Vauxhall) and Ford are in "fear of bankruptcy". Down our High Streets, we may be seeing the last of JJB Sports and Miss Sixty.

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BBC Online investigates the possibility of leading a life without a bank account. Wouldn't that be just amazing? Unfortunately, it's practically impossible, as you can read here. Who would otherwise pay for Barclays executives' £500,000 weekend trip to Lake Como?

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It's Back to Basics for The Sun a.k.a "the Daily Tit". "I prefer bazookas to burkas", was the headline for a piece by Julie Burchill. Apparently, getting your bazongas out for The Sun is nothing to do with boosting sales by 40%. Nor does it portray women as sex objects or display them like monkeys in a zoo. Instead, it's to be appreciated "in the name of our western values" against the burqa oppressors. What a valiant paper. Thank you.


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Leo McKinstry is a columnist for the Daily Express. As he sleepwalks into yet another anti-EU tirade, he shows colossal levels of ignorance. "European inte­gration was meant to be the route to permanent pros­perity across the cont­in­ent. Instead it is fast becoming a weapon of mass economic destruction". And more idiocy about "Europe's financial turmoil", "EU meltdown" and other cliches. But last time I checked the United States of America were not a EU member state. Is the Express so limited that they have no-one around to tell this plonker where the crisis originated and spiralled out of control? And is this moron seriously unaware that Iceland is not in the EU? And has he heard of Northern Rock? Bradford & Bingley? UK debt?

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Jeremy Paxman is back in our good books. On Tuesday, he accused the BBC of "fawning over" the Royal family. Totally.

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Anyone feeling bad for the death of Austrian neo-nazi leader and hate merchant Jorg Haider?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Heider's death? Foul play I say